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Thank you for your cooperation. The Mod Team. He is six years older than me. His mom died when he was 13, and he moved in with us.

I was happy to finally have a sibling I could grow up with. In less than a month, he was fingering me and performing oral sex on me.

The first time was on Christmas Eve. I told him Santa would see us and we wouldn't get any presents. It was really an attempt to talk him out of it.

It didn't work. He showed me pornography in a magazine, and had me let him touch my under my panties.

He tried to pull his penis out, but I rejected strongly. What would have happend if I rejected strongly to him touching me? I may have even told him it was ok I know I didn't want to, but he talked me into it.

I just didn't want to have him stop paying attention to me so I went along with it. But I never pretended to like it.

It was more like, "Do your think while I sit here and pretend it isn't happening. It isn't so much the physical trauma that happened that was devestating to me, but the emotional part of him turning into an abuser that was mean to me and rejected me.

I also had to deal with the family finding out, and it still continuing. So many feelings, beliefs, and thoughts I have internalized because of a huge crisis I had to face by myself starting at age 7.

I have tried to deal with it in different ways over the years. I ignored it, avoided him while still living with him , tried to be his sister, put him in jail, apologized to him, hated him and wouldn't let my daughter around him and denounced him to the whole family, eventually dumped all of my half siblings, felt sorry for him and tried to understand him as being a victim too, tried being a peace and love hippy and love everyone, wrote him letters, prayed, tried to find substitute brothers, and now psychotherapy.

Oh, I tried some counseling and medications, drinking, pot smoking, and extramarital affairs with men and women, perfectionism, and staying in bed for years too.

Probably other things I am not thinking of at the moment. But so far, this is still a weight I carry.

He and I may be linked more intimately than anyone else I am linked with. And I haven't had safe feelings toward him since I was about 4 years old.

I want it to stop. I want to find a way to once and for all put it to rest the best that I can. I don't want to avoid it anymore.

I don't want to have weird feelings toward males. I don't want to be agoraphobic and highly activated with adrenaline. I want to find a way to experience the true core pain and move on.

I think it is really good that you are starting psychotherapy as hopefully that will be the thing that helps you to finally deal with this.

You wont ever forget it but therapy will help you work through it and find a manageable place for it. Please also talk here as much as you want to - you will find ppl who understand and care and that can be a very helpful thing when you are working through abuse.

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I enjoyed our time together at night. The worst part of it all was having to lay awake and hear knowing what they were doing.

I don't know why she chose him over me. I suppose in his ways she maybe just felt safer on top of him? JazzLuvnAnt Xper 4. I think the sexual activity between you two is why you do not get along.

Perhaps you should both apologize to each other. I am not saying you did some horrible thing but clearly at least one of you feels that way.

So, apologizing might help. Take care. I was about 10 and my neighbours used to come over and we would make a tent in the backyard.

Tracy was the oldest, around 13 and I was 11 and Tracy's brother was 11 also. We used to get in the tent and jerk each other off almost every day.

Tracy is the only one that would cum, but he used to suck us for the hell of it. I always felt that I had done something wrong for many years.

Now, it's all gone away. I haven't had a gay experience since then. Just gotta live with what happened and go with it. My sister who is about 2. I barely remember any details.

I just know that we did it a few times. Never spoke about it after that. Our friendship is great. In terms of being family members I mean.

You should just put it behind you. It happened. It was not incest because it was just curiosity between two kids. You didn't or barely knew anything about that stuff when you two were doing it.

So, it's okay. Plus, I've read that a lot of siblings do that when they are kids. It's very common. So, you're not alone. DodgersGM Master. You were kids If the memory is causing you a lot of pain or has a strong negative impact on your life, then I'd consider professional counseling.

I think that you still want to do it so, talk to your brother and see how he feels about it and see if he wants to just as well. The odds of birth defects stemming from an incestual parentage is less than.

The human race wouldn't even be what it is had incest never been a factor. Buddysister Xper 1. Me and my sister slept together because we only had a two bed room house and from the age of 3 and 5 me being 5.

Sophi3 Xper 1. I saw me in your story. I never found it wrong on the contrary. Whats the question? You were kids just exploring each others bodies, when I was six my cousin and I would kiss and feel each other.

At that age you are just figuring out what your body is we didn't know what we were doing. Don't worry about it. Just normal experimenting. It happens probably more than people admit.

You were just kids. I made out with my cousin a few times. For what I've heard, it something pretty common. If he didn't forced you to do it, it's OK.

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